I have been putting this post off for a few days now, and I am still at a loss of words. What should be such a happy time for us only seems to leave me with a clouded mind. Memories flood my thoughts and the reminder of what is missing becomes more of a reality every year. The words "it gets easier with time" are just a way of one trying to make us feel better or give us a glimpse of hope to hang onto when in fact the more time that passes the harder it seems to deal with and the fact that once again we are facing the reality of something that will never be the same again. There is never a day that goes by that I don't think of him, his smile, his laugh, the way he always called B "Butch", how he almost always answered the phone if I called before 7, or how you could guarantee if you called much later he would be snoring in the background. How he would get on the boys for being rowdy, and how he was always looking for the "what's gonna happen, who's gonna get hurt" whenever all the kids were together. How he would let B help him combine, or how he hugged little D with all he had for the last time. It seems that reality is only emphasized with the setting of fall and how all things around us are slowly fading away as soon it will be winter. It is just a dreary reminder of the passing of time...time that can't heal, time that can only leave us to remember and cherish the times we once had.
Rest in Peace...we love and miss you XOXOXOXOXOXOXO
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